Nimeichoka Samahani Yako: 'Sorry is a Sorry Word'

Sorry is a sorry word…(inspired by Tarrus Riley)

11^th March 2012 Sunday:

Nilirudishiwa funguo…na tag imeandikwa, “Sorry is a sorry word”

Your words have no meaning
Cause you continue to do the same thing
Now sorry is a sorry word
Look at all I’ve done for you.
Am sorry that you’re sorry but sorry is not enough for me baby
Am sorry that you’re sorry but sorry can’t dry my tears Mentor…

2010 Mbagala, Kijichi

Ni katika purukushani za kukimbilia daladala..

Nilimaliza chuo 2008 kule Moshi, MUCCoBS. Baada ya kumaliza tu nilibahatika kupata kazi kwenye tawi moja la kampuni moja ya BIMA kule kule Moshi. Nilifanya kazi kule mpaka mwaka 2009 May nikahamishiwa makao makuu ya kampuni huku Dar es salaam.
Kama kawaida unapoanza kazi na ulitoka familia za kiporo asubuhi na ugali chumvi usiku lazima uanze na kushikishwa chuma kila siku. No..sina maana hiyoooo…namaanisha kusimama kwenye daladala.
Nilipata kachumba kamoja kule Kijichi wanapaita njia panda ya Neluka…nisiseme sana majirani wasijenijua. Life was good kwa kweli kwani kama ni kazi nilikuwa nafanya kazi nzuri na I gave my all kwa kazi. Nilipata vijisafari vya mara kwa mara kwenda kwenye branch offices mikoani kiasi kwamba salary yangu ilikuwa inatumika kiasi sana kwa mwezi.


Anyway…

Siku hii nilitoka zangu kazini maeneo ya posta nikaelekea kituoni kuoneshana ubabe. Zilipitapita daladala kadhaa watu wakagombania sana. Nakumbuka siku ile kulikuwa na kamvua kiasi na ubrazameni wangu sikuwa na mwamvuli. Basi katika kuangaza angaza macho nikamuona mdada mmoja..

...Anitha...

She is a queen..royal. Ana sura ya upole. Well behaved. Unusually well adjusted. Every man’s dream girl.

Nilishtuka kwanza kuona sura ile pale stendi. Nilihisi naota. Nikafunga macho mara kadhaa na kufungua tena nikitegemea kutomuona tena nitapofungua macho. She was still there beautiful as ever… hehehe..na alikuwa na mwamvuli! ;-)

Nikajisogeza kimahesabu mpaka nikawa karibu naye. Nikamwambia, “Mambo…Natumai malaika wanajua kiswahili”

At first hakunielewa..ila aliponielewa akatabasamu..now wait a minute! Sio tabasamu la kipashkuna kama kina dada wengine siwataji hapa. Tabasamu lake kama ulikuwa na malaria inaisha. Melting smile..kama ushawahi kusikia.

Anitha: “Hahaha..najua.”

Mentor: “…mhh…aaa..” (honestly hapa siogopi kusema nilipatwa na kigugumizi…)

Mentor: “Naomba lift”

Anitha alikubali tukashare mwamvuli ule na kuanzia pale stori zikaanza..nikajua anafanya field kwenye law firm moja maeneo ya pale pale posta. Anaishi kijichi na dada yake. Tuliongea sana that day tukasahau hata kugombania daladala kwenda home. Ilifika hadi 06:30pm ndo tukagundua muda umekwenda.

Tukagombania pale tukapata vinafasi vya kushikilia chuma walau (wakazi wa G/mboto na Mbagala au Mwenge/Ubungo watanielewa hapa..ukipata nafasi ya kushika tu chuma unajisikia kama umepata seat yani).

Mimi na Anitha

Mahusiano yetu yalikuwa ki-automatically sana mpaka leo sijawahi kuelewa. We just matched and clicked. Mara nyingi tulikuwa tukikutana weekends na tulienjoy sana kuwa pamoja.
Anitha alinipa condition moja ili kuwa naye, ‘No sex till marriage’. I loved her and ofcourse nilikubali bila kipingamizi.

It was easy kwa siku za mwanzo za penzi letu koz maybe ndo nilikuwa nalibembeleza, au ni kweli nilipokuwa naye niliweza kuona beyond the wedding day, au ..au..ila nilikubali!

I must say…now that I think of it, sex is overrated. Nakumbuka the way we used to enjoy life na Anitha. We used to look forward to Fridays so we could be together. Tulienda movies, swimming, we played cards..tubishane weee ali mradi kila mtu awe mshindi au tutoke draw. Tuanze ushabiki wa mpira..mimi Chelsea, yeye Man useless!!!!

Them gone good old days...

Saloon…24 November 2010

Pepo lilianza kuniingia siku nimeenda kunyoa nywele. Wakati yule mdada wa kuniosha anafanya kazi yake tukaanza chit-chat.

Mary: “Vipi unafanya na scrub”

Mentor: “Aa hapana nawahi kupika”

Mary: “Mh! Huna mke?”

Nikamuonesha kidole changu..hata alama ya pete kwa mbali hakina…

Mary: “Mchumba? Girlfriend?”

Mentor: “hapana mrembo sina...”

Mary: “Du! Sasa uzito unapunguzaje?”

Mentor: “Ahahaha..sio siri, ni Revola!”

Mary akacheka baada ya ku-connect the dots..

Mentor: “Au ulitaka kunitua mzigo?”

Mary: “Usijali…ntakupa namba”

Mary akamaliza kuniosha akanikausha nikampa pesa akawa ametoka nje kuchukua chenchi. Nikamfuata huko nikawa nasoma messages tena nakumbuka moja ilitoka kwa Anitha. Aliponipa chenchi akanipokonya na simu akaandika namba yake akajibip.

From there tukaanza kuflirt na nini. Ikabaki kutafuta siku ya kupunguza uzito..Katika mbinu nilizokuwa nazifahamu ikawa moja ya kudanganya kuumwa ofisini na kudanganya safari kwa Anitha. Tena nilimwambia naenda tu branch ya Kibaha so the following day ningekuwa naye. Ijumaa ikafika sikuenda ofisini haooo …sipataji! Basi nikapunguza uzito na kesho yake tukarudi.

Nikakuta Anitha ashafika home anaangalia movie. She had the keys to my place. Tukasalimiana tukakaa tunaangalia ile movie.


Mistake:

Anitha akachukua simu yangu akawa ananipiga picha kiuchokozi tu. Daaamn! Ikanihit…I have pictures of Mary in my phone.!!!! Kunyang’anya nashindwa.
Alipomaliza kupiga kama kawaida akataka tuziangalie wote…previous..previous..previ ous..mwanaume raha yote na tabasamu lishanipotea…previous…mara kabaaaang!

Anitha alilia sana ile siku…niliomba msamaha hadi machozi. Hakunielewa akaondoka na hasira nikajua ndo nimemkosa Anitha hivihivi. Ilinichukua wiki mbili kuweza tu kupata nafasi ya kuongea na anitha na kumuomba msamaha. Baada ya ahadi nyingi na machozi ya kiume Anitha alinisamehe.
Little did she know huo ndo ulikuwa mwanzo tu wa kupunguza uzito…

Case 2:

Wiki moja tu baada ya kusamehewa..ama kweli kuna tabia ukizianza ni ngumu kuziacha
Rematch na mdada wa saloon..of course hii haikugundulika ndo nikapata courage kuwa nimeanza kubobea. Akilini mwangu nilijua Anitha ndo wife. Haniachi simuachi…pamoja na uhuni wote ila Anitha ndiye!

Case 3, 4, 5, ??...zote hazikugunduliwa

Case 7: Posta..lunch time. Hii mida mibaya sana…

Naingia kwenye kale kamgahawa pale shelly ya posta kabisa pale. Meza zimejaa. Napepesa macho kwenye kona kulee naona meza ina watu watatu. Nikawahi nikakaa pale nikaagiza chakula. Najifanya bize kweli. Mara watu wawili wakanyanyuka kwenye ile meza nikabaki mimi na dada mmoja, Dorah.

Kama kawaida tukawa tunachat huku tukila. Na mengine unaweza kumalizia…
Dorah alikuwa na tatizo moja! Msumbufu mno kwenye simu kila saa anataka kupiga na kujibiwa message. Ilifika hadi Anitha akagundua kuna jambo. Akasikitika sana na mimi nikamuambia ni Dorah mwenyewe ananitaka babes! Akaniambia kama ungemwonyesha humtaki unadhani angeendelea? Au unataka tena yale ya kwenda Kibaha? Nikaona hapa nimeharibu tena. Nikaomba msamaha pale kishingo upande nikasamehewa.

Case 8, 9…Hizi zilikuwa zinasamehewa tu koz hakukuwa na ushahidi wa kutosha. But Anitha never stopped loving me..Hakubadilika wala kupunguza mapenzi. Nikajua nimemweza…hapa hatoki! A few tear drops and I am forgiven.

Ila honestly, everytime nilikuwa najiambia, ‘this is the last time!’ Nafanya hii tu then I go back to loving my Anitha.

Infact, ukishamwaga tu yale maprotein basi raha yote na ile excitement inapotea. Unaona what a waste of time and energy! Sijui kama hii regret ni mimi tu nilikuwa nayo? Yani ukishapiga bao moja tu unaanza kujiuliza, ‘was she really worth all this struggle kweli?’

Kama ambavyo wahenga husema, Mchovya asali hachovyi mara moja na za mwizi arobaini au kamba hukatikia pabaya…au <insert yours here>


Case n^th…9^th March 2012, Friday:

Anitha aliniambia kuwa atachelewa kumaliza kazi na angepitiliza home kwani alijisikia kuchoka hivyo angekuja kwangu asubuhi.

Now, kulikuwa na binti mmoja wa kiarabu, Punim, na yeye alikuwa akiishi maeneo ya Mbagala Zakheim. Huyu dada bana nilikuwa nimefukuzia muda mrefu sana. Kabla hata ya kumjua Anitha. Akawa amentolea nje kabisa. Nikawa nimempotezea mazima.

Sasa Hii wiki yote kuanzia 5^th alianza tu from nowhere kunitafuta. Nikaona isiwe shida let me play along. Si akaniomba series ya Nikita kama ninazo episodes mpya. Nikamwambia ninazo ila zipo home kwenye external hard disk. Akaniambia nikitoka nimpitie twende wote akakopi kwa laptop yake then akaangalizie kwake. Nikakubali.

So mchana nikawa namtania kwangu pako rough akifika asishangae. Akasema anataka aone mpaka chumbani. Mh!

Fast forward to uhondo time..na hii siku hata hatukupata shida ya daladala…very straight..na tukakaa…shetani bana!

Nikafika home kweli nikamkaribisha na a cane of cold redds huku akiendelea kukopi series zake. Mimi wala wasiwasi sina ndo kwanza bebii Anitha ananambia wanafinalize draft sijui ya kesi gani kachoka balaa. And she was anticipating heavy jam barabarani.

Baada ya muda akahitaji kwenda washroom/chooni/maliwatoni..iko ndani ya chumba cha kulala. Akasema ehee tena ndo nikaone na kitanda chako kisichotandikwa. Tukaelekea chumbani. Akachojoa ki-light sweater alichokuwa amevaa na top…mh! Nikajiuliza mkojo gani huu. Akaingia, kutoka akagoma kuvaa kisa joto..akajilaza kitandani huku akiniambia mbona kitanda kimetandikwa vizuri hivyo and its calling. Nikamwambia kiitikie karibu kama unaona kinakuita. Kama mzaha akajinyosha vizuri na visketi mnavyovaaga kwenda kazini mwavijua wenyewe…nikasema potelea mbali kama hakumaanisha hivyo asingentega kiivi.

Now now now..najua humu hakuna under 18..kwani yaliyoendelea sintoyaandika…

Kilichonishtua ni sauti ya mlango ukifungwa kwa nguvu, kubamizwa! Tukashtuka..nikakimbilia mlangoni nikihisi labda mwizi ashaiba anakimbia hivyo. I was shocked kuona mgongo wa Anitha huyo akiondoka kwa haraka mwendo wa nusu kukimbia nusu kutembea..

Kumbe Anitha alirudi na kwa mapenzi tele aliyonayo kwangu alinitumia message kuwa, “baby dada kaniambia hayupo home so nitakuja kwako nikitoka kazini.” Nilikuwa bize nikipunguza uzito..sikuisikia ikiingia labda ningeweza kuokoa penzi langu kwa Anitha. Nikamuacha mpaka akanikuta, akaniona…akashuhudia…live bila chenga.

Nilimkimbilia kumuomba msamaha kwa hasira akaanza kuongea kwa nguvu jinsi gani alivyonipenda na kunithamini lakini nikamtenda kiasi kile. Kwa jinsi gani amenisamehe mara nyingi ila bado sikujifunza..in short she created a scene pale. Akaondoka akilia. Huku nyuma kumbe naye Punim alitoka nje. Ukimuangalia wala hafiki hata robo ya Anitha basi tu ni ile “I want this taste syndrome” ilinisumbua. Ya muarabu ikoje??

From that day majirani wakawa wananicheka wengine wananidhihaki live live yani nikakosa amani…ilipofika mwisho wa mwezi tu nikahama Kijichi nikahamia zangu Kigamboni.

From that day kila nikimkumbuka Anitha najiuliza kama nitaweza kumpata tena binti mzuri aliyeniheshimu na aliyejiheshimu na kunipenda kama yeye.

Msinione bado nipo nipo sana…uhuni wangu uliniponza.

Wasalaam Wapendwa,
Mentor.